May 12, 2017
I’ve learned a lot this past year. A lot about what it’s
like to lead a ‘big kid life’. I guess as
I turn 24 I’m technically an adult, but I prefer to refer to my life as a big
kid one. I pay bills and have a 401(k)
and cook my own dinner, but really I’m just trying to have fun and lead a
simple life the same way I did when I was a kid.
On my birthday it’s appropriate to reflect. So here’s a
letter to my 23-year-old self 365 days ago….
Dear Erin,
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| Greta, Sarah, Erin, Mur whale watching, Homer August 2016 |
Get ready for
another year of adventures (that’s your favorite word). You’ll learn a lot
about trust this year. About trust in regards to your friends, and also what it’s like to trust yourself and your intuitions. You’ll be hurt when people promise they’re going to come visit you but then the excuses start to fly and they don’t come. But then you’ll have incredible times with the friends who do come. Don’t dwell on those empty promises, because
unfortunately I think those are going to continue throughout your life. Live in the present. When friends come to
visit you’ll camp on the beach, dance with some guys cremated relative’s little
urns, four wheel out to the cabin, watch whales, hike, ski, fish, stay up all
night, take thousands of pictures, drink water straight from the glacier, play
football on the beach. You’ll cross things off your life list- fly in a float
plane, become a big sister. Erin you’re going to be forced to make decisions
and you NEED to make them even though you’re not great at that. You’re going to
put things off, but you really shouldn’t (like going to the dentist, uploading
pictures from your phone, etc). You’re
going to change people’s lives so remember that through every sleepless night
you have. You’ll spend 1000 hours
volunteering for various organizations and you’ll be appreciated. You’ll teach
second graders about acceptance as you’re penpals with a school in Pakistan.
You’ll have a ‘little sister’ who will just adore you. And HOBY- 500 hours of
your life will be dedicated to this organization in Alaska and in world wide. Your heart will be broken when students tell you that they’ve never loved
themselves before, but then they’ll tell you that you changed their life. You'll have an outstanding staff in Alaska that puts on an amazing seminar where students will come from the
smallest villages and biggest cities and a student will say “this experience
made me feel like I’m not just a village kid. I feel like people care about me”
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| Fly fishing outside Talkeetna, August 2016 |
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| Jake and I camping at midnight, Hope June 2016 |
You’re going to see so many of your friends get engaged and have children. And then you’re going to experience loss. The loss of friend’s unborn babies and the loss of a friend whom you’d just planned trips with. Keep believing there is a reason for their disappearance from earth. There will be days that you’re going to cry at the office, and that’s okay because you have people who will let you cry. There will be days that you miss your friends and the lower 48. You’re going to want Chipotle or Chick-fil-a or CafĂ© Rio, but remember that you get to eat moose and fresh fish instead. You’ll have more good times with Alaska Jake so thank him every chance you have for being your best friend and confidant. Your family in Alaska will continue to provide so much laughter and comfort in your life.
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| Pump station 1, July 2016 |
You’re going to travel a lot for work. You’ll be called ‘the
ray of sunshine’ up at pump station 1. You’ll experience the hottest day on
record at Prudhoe Bay (85 degrees) and dance your way through the Arctic
Ocean. And then you’ll spend time at
other pump stations and you’ll be called ‘Angry Orchard’ like the cider and
everyone will laugh because they’ve only seen you with a smile. You’ll spend
time in -40 degree weather in a big puffy suit. You’ll have your first fire
truck ride with the Valdez fire crew and they’ll make you laugh! You’ll have
several rides in helicopters taking pictures and videos. You’ll do some great
things at work, but you’ll also feel challenged and like the work you do is
subpar. You’ll make movies and do projects that will leave a lasting impact,
just remind yourself that when you are at the office on a Sunday. Your self diagnosed dyslexia will get worse
and you’ll continue having a hard time spelling. You’ll share a side of
humanity within the oil industry when you talk to students from DU. You’ll have
conversations with people about their families, religion, politics and every
other topic. Some of the conversations
you have will be the most eye opening you’ve ever had. You’ll learn why people
voted for who they did in the election and you’ll learn that many people still
have strong, negative opinions about gay and Muslim people but you’ll continue
to keep an open mind and share your perspective about how we’re all people
first and they’re good people too.
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| Valdez Fire, March 2016 |
There will be times this year that you’ll meet strangers and
they’ll become your friends. While most of your friends go out with other 20
something year olds and party you will have 45-year-old friends with children
and 18 year olds about to graduate from high school. Your life is going to look a little bit
different than most everyone else you graduated with, but that’s okay because
everyone you meet is someone special who has a story to share. You’ll have so
many funny stories about guys you meet who want to date you (the camo hat guy, the
planned another date guy, the gay guys, the already married guy), but none of
them are worthy of your time and attention in a relationship and that is
A-OKAY! You’ll still go to church alone but you’ll like where you go and you’ll
be comfortable. The presidential election will bring out the worst in a lot of people. You'll miss a lot of the hate by being off social media. Try and at least see the other side. You can be assured that there will be beauty all around you.
You’ll see the Northern Lights driving to work and the ocean when you drive
home. You’ll pet a moose and fish for halibut. You’ll make more memories with
mom, dad and TJ as they each come to visit. Grandma and grandpa will continue to inspire you. You’ll pick blueberries from the mountain top and eat them in a
blueberry crisp that night. You’ll run
with the reindeer dressed as a bunny with mom.
You’re going to be in uncomfortable situations, but that’s okay because
you are strong and brave NEVER FORGET THAT. You are going to be sad a few
times, but trust me that’s nothing compared to the incredible happiness you’ll experience.
You’re going to wrestle with the idea of leaving Alaska and finding a new job,
but then you’ll stay because you really like your job, the people you’re
surrounded by and the adventures in the state you live in. You'll continue to live in a suburban neighborhood in a nice house and your friends are
only a facetime, call, text or email away. You’ll spend hours watching sports
and planning trips to the Kentucky Derby, the Masters, and the Olympics. You’re
going to travel a lot for fun all across the US and see friends from all
different parts of your life. You’ll sit
in first class and wonder how a 23-year-old is where you are today. You’ll
thank mom and dad every day for setting you up on a path to success.
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| Mom and I at Portage Glacier, March 2017 |
Erin, don’t forget
how loved you are by people all around the world. People who you don’t even know love you. People
love you because you are genuine and real.
You’re going to do things that people spend their whole lives wishing
they could do and it’ll be an average weekend for you. Never lose site of the
blessed life you live. Thank everyone who helps you because there will be lots of them. Erin never forget to be YOU-smile at everyone at work,
dance sober at the bars, embrace being a millennial, ask questions, volunteer
endlessly and love. Love yourself, love your friends and family, love your job,
and love the people you meet. I’m proud of you. You wake up every single day
living a dream and goal that you set for yourself. Be proud, be thankful, be bold!
Xoxo
Erin
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| HOBY Alaska, May 2017 |
