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Snowbird, UT

Snowbird, UT

Sunday, October 8, 2017

"HOME"

Cheers to 2 years in Alaska
"Are you on your home?" said the man sitting next to me on a flight from Salt Lake to Denver. I looked at him and kind of laughed. "I guess so" I responded.  At one time I did call Denver 'home', after I moved there from my hometown of Salt Lake.  I called it home the day after I moved into my Jmac dorm with Rachel freshman year of college.  I considered Denver home for 4 years.  But intermittently during those 4 years I also called Cooperstown, New York home for 3 months.  The wooden bunk beds, bathhouse shower, styrofoam plates were all what would be my home.   And then I called 7 oriente and 7 oriente home in Vina del Mar, Chile for 5 months.  My little room off the kitchen with a Mickey Mouse bedspread was my home.  Mama and Papa treated me like one of their own bringing me along on family trips and celebrating every Sunday with a 4 hour meal.  Then I called pension Nazionale home for 4 months in Florence eating with our pension family for 3 meals a day. 
Nazionale family. Florence, Italy
Chilean host family














Homer, Alaska
Now for the past 2 years I've called Alaska 'home.' The dark winter nights, the summer days filled with fishing, hiking and camping, the canoe outings in October and the 9:30pm golf nights in May. It really is home. I feel comfortable here. More than comfortable I feel challenged. It didn't always feel like home when I first went south on the highway when I lived north. It didn't feel like home when I would google the nearest grocery store. Sometimes I still feel like I'm living in a movie here when I'm camping with strangers who are all talking about the biggest animals they've ever hunted but it's home and these people are part of it and I like it.     

    Words can mean a lot of different things to different people and I'd like to think that I can choose what 'home' means to me.  The dictionary defines home: a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.  I think you can call many places home. I've called my tent home when it's the only shelter I've got for miles. There's that cliche phrase "home is where the heart is" and I've never really bought that. My heart is with so many people and places all over the world that I've never even been to and wouldn't consider home.  Home to me is wherever you want it to be. Whatever couch, tent, bed you want.  There's that idea of 'home field'/'home team' that athletes feel. Growing up the ice rink was like a home and any piece of ice to this today brings a feeling of comfort that I'd get from home.  

Friends from growing up still ask "when are you coming home?" and honestly I spend more days throughout the year in Seattle than I do in the place I grew up, but to them it'll always be home. It currently isn't really my home but yet my parents still live in the house I grew up in so in a way it'll always be home.

Another question I laugh at, "where are you from?" Well I live in Anchorage, but I wasn't born there but the friends that I'm currently with are from all over the country but we know each other because we lived together in Denver. We were all physically born someplace, but each place we've lived/been/experienced has contributed who we currently are.  So answer that question however you want because really we come from a lot of different places.  We're complex people from a combination of backgrounds and experiences.

So "yes" I'm going home. Home to Denver, or home to Salt Lake or home to Alaska; it's all home. It's all given me warmth and peace and love and contributed to who I am! Don't get hung up on the details, it's okay to call multiple places home. 


Christmas in Salt Lake


Sadie Cove, Alaska
        
          Day 1 JMac dorm with Rachel
Barracks in Cooperstown, New York
       


Unit 3 roommates for graduation

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Because it's there....

"Because it's there".... seems like a reasonable response when someone asks you why you are going to do something. Now what if that was your response when someone asked you why you were about to put your body through some of the harshest, most unrelenting physical and mental pain that you'll ever experience?  I've lived near mountains my entire life minus a few months in Europe and to me mountains are a sanctuary. They pull you in and hug you tight as you enjoy their grandeur.  It's as if they hold secrets to life, but maybe you're the one holding secrets about yourself and the mountains help you explore them.

 Denali, "The Great One", stands 20,320 feet above the Alaskan wilderness and is the tallest mountain in North America.  The mountain was formally referred to as Mt. McKinley from 1917-2015 when Obama officially changed the federal name back to Denali.  It's about 130 miles northwest of Anchorage and on a clear day you can see it's summit from the big city.  She is actually taller than Everest (greater vertical rise starting at 2,000' versus Everest at 14,000' above sea level) and one of the most alluring mountains I've ever seen.  She stands proud in the Alaska Range next to Mt. Foraker and Mt Hunter.  In 2017 1,189 climbers spent time on Denali with 42% of them reaching the summit.

On May 6th, 2017 a group of mountain men set off to climb the highest peak in North America. This is no group of average dudes who decided on a whim to do this. Years of training has led to this moment. It’s not cheap and it’s not easy; it’s a commitment and a sacrifice. 

We’ll focus on a few of these ‘mountain men’ for this story (I’m not sure how we gave them that title but it seems fitting to me)


Dom-  29-year-old Kiwi with a smile and zest for life unlike anyone else who laughs when Americans often times confuse him for an Aussie

Mat- 29-year-old Berkeley native with an ‘up for anything’ attitude who found his way to the shores of Nicaragua after studying finance in Boulder, CO

Zac/Tex- 30-year-old engineer with a laugh that makes your heart so happy who’s visited over 60 countries and lived around the world but currently resides in Texas

Yuval (UV)- 35-year-old husband and father of 2 beautiful daughters from Israel who grew up going to American schools while living abroad

Denali above the clouds
A few others set off on the expedition as well.  Mark who played in the NFL and is now set on climbing the tallest peaks on all seven continents, Sam from Silicon Valley working in the tech industry, and Mike Hamill an internationally renowned climbing guide. This blog could go on for days if we were to talk about each of them, and they do each have a story of their own, but we’ll focus on the first four mentioned.

This is their story.....

May 6th, 2017. Base camp of Denali is at 17,000’.  You fly up to base camp from Talkeenta (check out Talkeetna Air Taxi) in a small plane outfitted to land on snow and ice. In Talkeetna the final preparations have concluded-enough freezer dried food for weeks, a check-in at the ranger station, only the necessities packed in your 50lb plus bags, sleds checked out, ropes tied and retied, carabineers checked. Talkeetna is home to 876 people and has a cat as a mayor.  There are no rules about open alcohol containers here and people walk around freely in their sandals.   Lots of people have missing teeth and live off the grid where they have no water or electricity. If you come to Alaska check out Talkeetna; it’s sure to provide you with lots of laughter and a wealth of friendly people.

The next 3 weeks were spent with Mike guiding his group of 6 up the mountain. Some days temperatures were above zero and the sky was blue overhead. Other days the wind howled and even the slightest skin exposure could lead to frostbite. Some days you could climb to the next camp, while others were spent hunkered down in your tent inside the ice wall you built.  There’s no cell service here, no one to tell you to trim your beard, no one to tell you what’s happening in regards to American politics. It’s just you, and your partners, and the mountain.  Your agenda looks pretty similar each day-take down camp or just start hiking, one person boils snow for water and the others, pack your pack and head on up then set up camp, boil more water, talk about life, and catch some sleep at all random times of the day. Each climber has their own preferences when climbing-listening to audio books, listening to Chris Stapleton or some other legendary artist or listening to the sounds around you. At times your pace is that of an elderly grandma. Other times you find yourself standing on a pitch with a few thousand feet drop offs on either side of you. The slightest mistake could cost your life.

Unfortunately, this expedition ended without your iconic picture standing on top of the summit.  A forecasted storm calling for -85F degree temps and 100mph winds doesn’t make well for a summit push.  The crew headed down the mountain and back to Talkeetna.  Dozens were forced to cut their expeditions short because of this storm; that’s just not something you mess with.

It was after this expedition that I met Zac, Mat, and Dom in Anchorage.  When talking to them it was clear they’re a little disheartened. It’s like a slap in the face when something completely out of your control determines your destiny for the time being. But after about 30 seconds of disheartened talk they are extremely eager, humble and positive about this hobby of theirs.  They are so hungry for more. If you were to ask “are you bummed that you couldn’t summit?” their response would be something along the lines of “oh yeah it’s a huge bummer, but hey what can you do. Life goes on”. What a good outlook to have on life! Zac posted a message on facebook that was fitting,Am I bummed? No doubt. Anytime you want something that bad for years, spend months preparing for, and weeks executing for and not even get an opportunity to take your shot, that's rough. It will sting for a while, but I'm even hungrier for it now. I'll be back in a few years.”

Mat and Zac toured the Kenai Peninsula for a few days after the climb catching halibut, talking with bear hunters, beating the locals at pool, seeing puffins, and enjoying the local whiskey and beer.  Dom headed to California to the happiest place on earth with his girlfriend. Life seemed to be moving on, but the pull of Denali and her summit was always on their mind.

Dom and Mat returned to Alaska a short time later to conquer the mountain again.  My friend Angie was visiting from Utah while they were here and we ended up giving them and all their gear a ride to Talkeetna from Anchorage.  We spent the next unintended 48 hours in the little town camping, driving them around as they prepped for another expedition, eating out at every single restaurant, watching the rangers give their mandatory spiel, tossing the football in the park, playing hour long games of ping pong at the Fairview and fly fishing on Montana Creek.  I say unintended because Angie and I were only going to be there for a day and the guys were supposed to fly up to base camp. Weather delayed that so we made the best of our time. It felt like groundhog day as we walked around town yet again, but when you’ve got a good crew to hang out with there’s not many other places you’d rather be.  More inside jokes were created and more laughs shared in that 48 period than I have had in a long time. These seemingly strangers turned into great friends in a matter of memories.

Angie and I wished them well and they flew up to camp.  The next 9 days were a push for that summit. There was an incredible amount of drive, adrenaline and determination on this trek.  They had left a cache (stuff buried as you climb up in elevation and then descend to sleep) of food, Mat’s wallet, and the memories of Mat’s best friend on the mountain on the previous trek. Talk about motivation.  They climbed and climbed having some great days, and others where the clouds were overhead and wind whistled through the tent.  They met a guy name Yuval who wandered over to their tent with some hot drinks. From there a real friendship and bond was formed. The three of them summited the mountain together on an absolutely beautiful day.  Reed told Mat that one day he was going to make it to the summit of America’s tallest peak and Mat made sure he did just that.  Emotions run high on any mountain or after accomplishing such a physical and mental feat as this but those emotions are amplified even more when brining your friend to a place that you’d long talked about to celebrate his life.  It takes a special person to stay committed to that promise that was made.  They took some memorable pictures and headed down the mountain because the summit isn’t exactly a place you want to spend much time.
Denali. June 10, 2017

If you need another motivation to climb a mountain try climbing it with a man who a few years ago was plagued by MS.  Diagnosed at age 25 he went from being an independent, extremely healthy young man to one who couldn’t walk or bathe himself.  That man is Yuval and he’s now a European ambassador MS. He’s an engineer by day, father by night, and a climber, motivational speaker and ambassador in his other time.  Dom said the two most powerful moments of the trip were watching Mat on top celebrate Reed's life, and watching UV walk with an extremely heavy pack on his back after he had surpassed his 100% physical limit. 

They finished the trek with a flight back to Talkeetna and a proper celebration at the Fairview Inn.  They ended back in Anchorage for one last night with us before heading their separate ways. UV stayed a few extra days to explore Alaska and it was inspiring to spend time with a man who is so level headed, humble, humorous and grateful.  Grateful to be living a life doing things he loves every day.

I asked each of them why they climb…. “To rediscover your limits” said UV. “Because they are there” replied Dom. “My happy place is in the mountains. I’m my best self there” said Mat.

We're all climbing some sort of mountain in our lives and it's up to us to decide which one's are worth the climb.  You could be climbing the corporate ladder, climbing the treehouse to play with your kids, or maybe climbing a physical or mental health battle.  What gets you through climbing your mountain? I'd say a smile, positive attitude, and a phenomenal friend and family support base can't hurt. I’m so grateful that I met these mountain men who taught me about mountain climbing, but more than that showed me the importance of having an attitude that remains determined, hungry for more and ever positive and a heart that never hardens.

To the summit!! Cheers to your time in Alaska. You may have left for now but I know that you’ll all come back!

Check out Mat's video of their trip here...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03wDEcvcFIc&feature=youtu.be



camp


The summit. Yuval, Dom, Mat

flight into base camp

heading up
Mat, Dom, Zac, Mark

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Happy 24th birthday Erin. Letter to myself.....365 days ago


May 12, 2017
I’ve learned a lot this past year. A lot about what it’s like to lead a ‘big kid life’.  I guess as I turn 24 I’m technically an adult, but I prefer to refer to my life as a big kid one.  I pay bills and have a 401(k) and cook my own dinner, but really I’m just trying to have fun and lead a simple life the same way I did when I was a kid. 

On my birthday it’s appropriate to reflect. So here’s a letter to my 23-year-old self 365 days ago….



Dear Erin,
Greta, Sarah, Erin, Mur whale watching, Homer August 2016
   Get ready for another year of adventures (that’s your favorite word). You’ll learn a lot about trust this year. About trust in regards to your friends, and also what it’s like to trust yourself and your intuitions. You’ll be hurt when people promise they’re going to come visit you but then the excuses start to fly and they don’t come. But then you’ll have incredible times with the friends who do come.  Don’t dwell on those empty promises, because unfortunately I think those are going to continue throughout your life.  Live in the present. When friends come to visit you’ll camp on the beach, dance with some guys cremated relative’s little urns, four wheel out to the cabin, watch whales, hike, ski, fish, stay up all night, take thousands of pictures, drink water straight from the glacier, play football on the beach. You’ll cross things off your life list- fly in a float plane, become a big sister. Erin you’re going to be forced to make decisions and you NEED to make them even though you’re not great at that. You’re going to put things off, but you really shouldn’t (like going to the dentist, uploading pictures from your phone, etc).  You’re going to change people’s lives so remember that through every sleepless night you have.  You’ll spend 1000 hours volunteering for various organizations and you’ll be appreciated. You’ll teach second graders about acceptance as you’re penpals with a school in Pakistan. You’ll have a ‘little sister’ who will just adore you. And HOBY- 500 hours of your life will be dedicated to this organization in Alaska and in world wide. Your heart will be broken when students tell you that they’ve never loved themselves before, but then they’ll tell you that you changed their life. You'll have an outstanding staff in Alaska that puts on an amazing seminar where students will come from the smallest villages and biggest cities and a student will say “this experience made me feel like I’m not just a village kid. I feel like people care about me” 
Fly fishing outside Talkeetna, August 2016
Jake and I camping at midnight, Hope June 2016














You’re going to see so many of your friends get engaged and have children. And then you’re going to experience loss. The loss of friend’s unborn babies and the loss of a friend whom you’d just planned trips with.  Keep believing there is a reason for their disappearance from earth.  There will be days that you’re going to cry at the office, and that’s okay because you have people who will let you cry.  There will be days that you miss your friends and the lower 48. You’re going to want Chipotle or Chick-fil-a or Café Rio, but remember that you get to eat moose and fresh fish instead. You’ll have more good times with Alaska Jake so thank him every chance you have for being your best friend and confidant. Your family in Alaska will continue to provide so much laughter and comfort in your life.  
Pump station 1, July 2016

You’re going to travel a lot for work. You’ll be called ‘the ray of sunshine’ up at pump station 1. You’ll experience the hottest day on record at Prudhoe Bay (85 degrees) and dance your way through the Arctic Ocean.  And then you’ll spend time at other pump stations and you’ll be called ‘Angry Orchard’ like the cider and everyone will laugh because they’ve only seen you with a smile. You’ll spend time in -40 degree weather in a big puffy suit. You’ll have your first fire truck ride with the Valdez fire crew and they’ll make you laugh! You’ll have several rides in helicopters taking pictures and videos. You’ll do some great things at work, but you’ll also feel challenged and like the work you do is subpar. You’ll make movies and do projects that will leave a lasting impact, just remind yourself that when you are at the office on a Sunday.  Your self diagnosed dyslexia will get worse and you’ll continue having a hard time spelling. You’ll share a side of humanity within the oil industry when you talk to students from DU. You’ll have conversations with people about their families, religion, politics and every other topic.  Some of the conversations you have will be the most eye opening you’ve ever had. You’ll learn why people voted for who they did in the election and you’ll learn that many people still have strong, negative opinions about gay and Muslim people but you’ll continue to keep an open mind and share your perspective about how we’re all people first and they’re good people too.
Valdez Fire, March 2016

There will be times this year that you’ll meet strangers and they’ll become your friends. While most of your friends go out with other 20 something year olds and party you will have 45-year-old friends with children and 18 year olds about to graduate from high school.  Your life is going to look a little bit different than most everyone else you graduated with, but that’s okay because everyone you meet is someone special who has a story to share. You’ll have so many funny stories about guys you meet who want to date you (the camo hat guy, the planned another date guy, the gay guys, the already married guy), but none of them are worthy of your time and attention in a relationship and that is A-OKAY! You’ll still go to church alone but you’ll like where you go and you’ll be comfortable. The presidential election will bring out the worst in a lot of people. You'll miss a lot of the hate by being off social media. Try and at least see the other side. You can be assured that there will be beauty all around you. You’ll see the Northern Lights driving to work and the ocean when you drive home. You’ll pet a moose and fish for halibut. You’ll make more memories with mom, dad and TJ as they each come to visit.  Grandma and grandpa will continue to inspire you. You’ll pick blueberries from the mountain top and eat them in a blueberry crisp that night.  You’ll run with the reindeer dressed as a bunny with mom.  You’re going to be in uncomfortable situations, but that’s okay because you are strong and brave NEVER FORGET THAT. You are going to be sad a few times, but trust me that’s nothing compared to the incredible happiness you’ll experience. You’re going to wrestle with the idea of leaving Alaska and finding a new job, but then you’ll stay because you really like your job, the people you’re surrounded by and the adventures in the state you live in. You'll continue to live in a suburban neighborhood in a nice house and your friends are only a facetime, call, text or email away. You’ll spend hours watching sports and planning trips to the Kentucky Derby, the Masters, and the Olympics. You’re going to travel a lot for fun all across the US and see friends from all different parts of your life.  You’ll sit in first class and wonder how a 23-year-old is where you are today. You’ll thank mom and dad every day for setting you up on a path to success. 
Mom and I at Portage Glacier, March 2017


 Erin, don’t forget how loved you are by people all around the world.  People who you don’t even know love you. People love you because you are genuine and real.  You’re going to do things that people spend their whole lives wishing they could do and it’ll be an average weekend for you. Never lose site of the blessed life you live. Thank everyone who helps you because there will be lots of them. Erin never forget to be YOU-smile at everyone at work, dance sober at the bars, embrace being a millennial, ask questions, volunteer endlessly and love. Love yourself, love your friends and family, love your job, and love the people you meet. I’m proud of you. You wake up every single day living a dream and goal that you set for yourself. Be proud, be thankful, be bold!

Xoxo

Erin
HOBY Alaska, May 2017