A letter to my college self

Dear college self...
 
    You're about to board ship on this adventure called college.  You won't know what to expect from each day but you'll learn to rely on your faith, friends and family.  You'll experience death and birth, marriages and divorces.  The sophomore slump is a real thing and can get you down.  You'll walk into the dinning hall and walk out without eating anything because none of the food looks appetizing.  You'll wonder what you're doing with your life and why God put you here.  You'll spend hours trying to solve world problems, but not getting very far.   You'll spend too much money going out for meals because meals bring people together and Denver has so many good restaurants.  You're going to spend time crying, sitting on the floor wondering if you'll actually be able to pass human physiology.  You'll go to parties and everyone will ask you why you aren't drinking. You'll have professors who just don't want to give you the time of day and don't agree with your ideas. You will get rejected from positions you really thought you were qualified for.

But.......You're going to meet people who will rock your world!  People who will inspire you every single day. Every single one of your roommates through 4 years will teach you a whole lot about who you are and what this life is about.  You'll travel to some 20 countries to experience what life is like around the world and you'll see that everyone laughs and smiles in the same language. You'll realize we each have something unique to offer to this world. You'll spend hours out hiking, skiing, running, rollerblading and sitting in the park for picnics.  You'll procrastinate papers until the hours before they're due because planning a trip or catching up with a friend is more important.  You'll have professors who want to help you accomplish your dreams.  You'll learn a little bit of everything from Islam to determining the time of death of a person at a crime scene.  You know the class you didn't think you'd pass? Well you'll pass it and be fine! You know the research paper you wrote the day it was due?  You'll get a B on that and be satisfied. You know the time that you never thought it would work to study abroad for a year? Yep, that'll work out too.

Freshman year 18 year old Erin wide-eyed to do everything Erin,
    You are about to sleep an average for 4 hours per night and you won't even drink coffee or soda.  You'll study engineering and work extremely hard, but you'll be constantly rewarded with low grades in calculus. You'll volunteer and tutor students who are only a year younger than you. You'll ski with strangers on the weekends and go to hockey and lacrosse games.  You'll travel with the lacrosse team to California and make memories off the ice with the skating team.

Sophomore 19 year old Erin with no real direction,
    You're living with your best friends in 506 Nelson Hall with a bathroom, kitchen and the big green couch.  You'll make memories by making midnight crepes and attempting to make cake pops.  Friends will come fill your room to watch sports. Friends from home will come and visit and you'll spend hours rollerblading around Wash Park.  You'll continue going to church and turning it into an event of going out to brunch or strolling the Pearl Street Farmers Market. You'll struggle with where to study abroad after having to fight for it.

Junior year 20 year old nomad taking it all in,
   You had no intention of ending up in Chile to study abroad, but thanks to God that is right where you were meant to be.  The boys will become your best friends and Wednesday morning baking sessions with the girls will be a necessary tradition.  You'll learn a whole lot about life that you never really thought you'd experience. You'll be reaffirmed that just because people make "poor" decisions it doesn't make them a bad person. You'll then head off to Italy to realize your dream of studying abroad for a year. Here you'll live with people who will test you. You'll travel all over and spend many days not knowing where you'll spend the night.  You'll sing karaoke and eat lots of pizza and see sights from history you only thought you'd read about.

Senior year and 21 years old experiencing firsts and lasts,
    You'll go to your first NFL game and it'll happen to be a Broncos win. You'll be a running coach, lacrosse coach, and figure skating coach.  You'll babysit for families that will turn into feeling like your own family.  You'll ski over 35 days spending weekends in Steamboat.  You'll make new friends and reinforce other relationships.  You'll attempt to kill the Hank the mouse that lives in your house.  Stellas will become a regular spot for you to get homework done but if friends come you'll just end up talking and laughing. You'll spend most fall weekends watching football with friends.  Thursday nights are time for Howl at the Moon.  You'll turn down a job offer with Teach for America because it just wasn't right and you'll be worried sick about what happens after graduation.

The moral of the story; I would do college again if someone were to pay for it.  I would do it all...the all night homework sessions with chips and guacamole, the midnight runs to the grocery store, the crying because of the uncertainty of the future, the early morning wake ups to go to the ice rink in the dark and cold, the spring break trips the road trip across the country the year abroad the 3 weeks in Costa Rica, the volunteering for organizations around Colorado, the missed meals the bad meals and the meals you ate way too much at, the weight loss the weight gain, the afternoon zumba classes, the pumpkin carving, the cake making, the Saturday morning keg and eggs breakfasts.  People have long told me that college is the best four years of your life and if they were then it was a hell of a ride. These formative years turn you from a bright-eyed child into a big kid.  You may not be an adult yet, but you'll have grown and developed into someone you're supposed to be.    Laugh at the mistakes and give more hugs than you know what to do with because it'll all be over and you'll never get the opportunity to live the same life that you did!  Take chances, put yourself out there, and love the people you're around. All the mishaps and misfortunes will be the uphill climbs on the crazy roller coaster of college.  The twists and turns will come around every corner but so will the smiles and laughs.  So you can choose to scream and cry and not ride the roller coaster or you can buckle up, throw your hands in the air and face it head on with a smile on your face!

HOBY WLC 2015---Own Every Second

Different color shirts fill the University of Chicago Loyola campus on Saturday afternoon with 450 high school students.  Some have big smiles and others are loopy from their travels. Some arrive with their parents, but most are alone.  Some have 2 bags full of who knows what and others just a carry on.  After 30 minutes of check in they’re all in the same navy t shirts walking with new found friends to join in cheers and activities.  What’s on the front of those t-shirts? “HOBY”. What does it mean? Family.   Hugh O’Brian Youth Leadership (HOBY) is an international organization that teaches young people how to think not what to think. The mission is simple…. Develop the global community of youth to a life of leadership and service.  Six years ago my life was changed by this organization which is why this year I wanted to be a facilitator for the 8 day World Leadership Congress (WLC) in Chicago.  I was given the opportunity back in February and I couldn’t turn it down.  I turned down a couple of jobs to be here because I so strongly believe in the organization.  Throughout the course of the week a transformation occurred among the 450 ambassadors and 90 volunteer staff from 10 countries and 47 states.  Acquaintances became best friends. Dreams became plans. Ideas became goals. 

Saturday- The welcome and Opening Ceremonies began as 10 flag bearers from their respective countries marched in.  Students quickly found their 11 or 12 other ambassadors in the their groups (arranged by color).  After they found each other they found their facilitators who were just as eager to meet them.  Andy Stoll gave a speech about his 4 year journey around the world.  This talk inspired many to go out and live.  

speaks for itself

Sunday-  Personal Leadership .   Arthur Woods gave a dynamic presentation about creating your own impact plan asking “what is it that you want to do in this world?”  He asked what grinded people’s gears and the answers ranged from a lack of respect toward the GLBT to suicide to destroying our environment.

Jennifer Santoro discussed living life with purpose.  Living a life with a purpose takes courage and happiness is what drives you to get there.  The #1 regret of people when they die is they wish they would’ve lived a life for themselves versus the one others expected of them.  My favorite quote of the day was “To do this or not to do this….which will I regret more?”

International presentations were today with ambassadors singing, dancing and sharing about their countries.  Every presentation was unique especially since most ambassadors have never been out of the US. 

Monday- Group leadership.  The World Café activity was presented by Eric Jones, a fellow 2009 WLC ambassador with me.  Students sat in different groups and talked about their goals and hopes are and what kind of difference they can make on their communities.  It got their juices flowing!

       We took a trip to the Museum of Science and Industry where we were given full range to explore the maze, how to make tornadoes, and life aboard a submarine.  Check out this museum if you’re in Chicago because it’s a lot of fun for everyone, especially the ice cream parlor on the main level!

           Ms. Diane came and electrified the crowd with her story of getting “kids off the block”.  She is a CNN hero and lives in the south side of Chicago.  She saw a need in her community that kids were on the street and needed help so she opened doors to the homeless and helpless youth.  She sometimes has kids from two different gangs sitting in her living room because they want to change their lives.  She feeds them, lets them stay over, drives them to school and does anything she can to keep them off the streets.  The next time you think about helping someone, think about this incredible women who lets gang members sleep in her living room!

Tuesday- Leadership for Service.  550 ambassadors and staff loaded school buses to head to Humboldt Park for a day of service.  After lots of dancing and singing we were scattered around the park some picking up trash, painting fences, or mulching trees.  This day of service saved the park community over $100,000 in man power! The best part is how excited everyone was to help out and get dirty.

             Dave Gamache or “uncle Dave” as he likes to be known as lit up the whole crowd with his presentation about building your championship team throughout life.  That team first starts with yourself and builds from there.  Leaders build leaders.  Crave connections and be ambassadors of compassion.  Everyone is going through different things in life so why not have each other’s backs?  You’ll always have goalies in front of you trying to block your shots in this life, but see nothing but net and score!

            Suehaila Amen discussed life as an American Muslim.  For most students their view of Islam is similar to the majority of Americans; that they are violent, disrespectful and not good people.  Her speech changed many perspectives enlightening the crowd about how much easier life would be if we just shared more smiles and respect with one another.

Free high fives in downtown Chicago

Wednesday- Global Citizenship.  Ambassadors were broken into groups to discuss what everyone deserves in the world.  Big issues like water, education, and food were some of the most commonly discussed, but what it boiled down to was love and connections.  We really do craze love, connections and affection but we don’t do a good enough giving that to others.  We’re all looking for love and respect to help make this world a better place. 

             Each facilitator took their 12 or 13 ambassadors on an Amazing Race into the city. Never in my life have I felt like more of a mom and I have mad respect for parents who take big families into big cities.  We followed clues to see the Water Tower, Hancock building and the Bean, but along the way we participated in acts of paying it forward.  We gave out free high fives by making a high five tunnel on the sidewalk.  We also took sticky notes and wrote compliments to strangers on them.  My favorite part was dancing while listening to a street performer.  We danced with strangers and they turned from frowning passerby’s to smiling friends.

             All of us met up along the lake for a dinner of Giordono’s deep dish pizza and some ice cream.  We broke up into sections (5 facilitators and 60 ambassadors) to have our section nights. Luke, our assistant section leader led one of my favorite activities.  It’s called “tap somebody who”  Everyone is sitting in a big circle with their eyes closed and 5 students rotate being in the middle each round.  Luke says things like “tap somebody who has made a difference in your life”, “tap somebody who as inspired you”, “tap somebody who you want to stay in contact with”.  It’s like a giant warm and fuzzy activity that makes everyone feel good.  This activity turned to lots of tears and students expressing that they have never felt this loved or accepted by anyone in their entire life.  One boy said he hasn’t cried in 14 years but he cried tonight because how amazing he felt.  One girl said she was bullied at school and didn’t realize people noticed her, but now she felt loved.  International ambassadors cried knowing that even if they hadn’t talked much throughout their first few days here they were still making a profound impact on people.  This is a night I will never forget as I hugged by ambassadors and let me cry and release all these negative feelings they had.   We watched fireworks and then took the L back to campus.

section night by the lake with Luke as our fearless leader

Thursday-  Global Citizenship.   Hunger is a topic that doesn’t really affect most people in my immediate community but it is a HUGE problem.  We participated in a series of trivia games and activities that showed everyone problems around the world involving women’s rights, water, and hunger among others. We had a simulation about how there is enough food to feed the entire world, but it is not dispersed correctly.  Our students were divided among different regions of the world split up according to the amount of people in each region.  Pizza’s were divided among the countries with Asia have 200+ people in it and less than 15 pizzas for everyone to share.  Countries like America waste millions of pounds of food every year while other countries can’t produce enough.    Think about your food waste the next time you eat or shop at the grocery store.  Ask grocery stores or restaurants if you can take left over food to shelters or people in need. Whole Foods is a good example of this, Dunkin Doughnuts is a bad example.  

making 53,000 meals for local students

Jarrod Fucci, Vice President of Development of Feeding Children Everywhere led an activity to package 53,000 meals for local Chicagoans.  Ambassadors were broken up into teams of about 10 while music was blasting and they packaged meals of lentils, rice and vegetables.  The event took less than an hour, but seemed longer with all the dancing the staff did throughout the room.  Thanks Jarrod for bringing such a fun activity to help the community!

After an exciting talent show with acts varying from poetry reading to rapping to baton twirling and break dancing it was time to head outside for the HOBY story under the stars.  Marcus Kelly, HOBY daddy, and his assistant Mike Roy shared what it means to live HOBY.  Living HOBY means embracing each day, helping people every chance you get and doing your part to change the world.  The theme song this year is “I Lived” by One Republic.  This has been my favorite song for 2 years now especially while living abroad.  Some of the lyrics include “Hope when the moment comes you’ll say I did it all”, “I owned every second that this world could give”, “saw so many places, the things that I did and with every broken bone I swear I lived.”  Talk about compelling lyrics.  The staff had our arms around one another during the song and of course I cried but was embraced by big hugs from Luke and Joel on either side of me.  That’s what community is like folks, it’s real!!!

Friday- A wrap up with thank you letters to all those who made this conference possible.  Another discussion about what it means to live HOBY and then an activity with Lamarr Womble about turning your passions into planning.  How do you go from an idea to a plan? 

            We took school buses downtown to the Palmer House for the closing dinner and banquet.  Our bus driver managed to hit a pole and break his mirror which led to panic and laughter, all were safe! Dinner was a three course meal and general confusion amongst ambassadors about what utensils to use when.  It’s a tradition for the ambassadors to sing songs to the audience that no one knows and this year they mixed it up with some beat boxing and rapping.  The staff got together and sang “If you’re out there“   by John Legend.  We danced the night away and said some goodbyes before returning back to campus. 

            We had our final group time with my 12 ambassadors which again led to many tears.  This week my ambassadors talked a lot about not being able to love themselves fully, but by the end of the week they shared how they look in the mirror now and are happy with who they are.  Talk about a powerful moment and a proud moment as a facilitator.  I don’t think I did much this week but when you hear students say that they have never felt so loved, inspired and happy in their life you know you did something right.  It broke my heart hearing that these students didn’t love themselves fully because every day of my life I have woken up happy with myself and gone to bed happy with who I am and what I have done.  Sometimes all people need is someone to tell them what they admire in them and what they love which is why we had an affirmation circle that let everyone share one thing they loved about the other person and the person in the middle to share one thing they love about themselves. 

            So love yourselves people because as one of Ryan’s favorite quotes goes “If you can’t love yourself then how the hell are you going to love anyone else?”

my B5 ambassadors from around the world. From strangers to family

Saturday- a long day with no sleep making sure ambassadors got to the airport.  Campus was clear of ambassadors by 11am and staff had a party.  We went to a comedy show, had dinner and then played trivia.  Such a happy day, but also such a sad day.

Luke, Megan and myself

            

Marcus Edwards 

Returning to WLC I wasn’t really sure what to expect since I hadn’t been in 6 years. I knew that it was the best week of my life when I went in 2009 so I was hoping these ambassadors felt the same.  I was so inspired by what these 16 year olds want to do with their lives and pained with the trials they have faced.  I met staff that changed my life especially my blue crew.  Jeremy, Luke, Megan, Ryan, JT, and Dawn you were the core of empowering our 60 ambassadors.  You made the coffee runs, gave bountiful hugs and led me to snort more this week than I have in a long time! Luke you were an example to us with your big smile and open mind. JT your silent leadership is noticeable and commanding. Megan your spunky personality engages everyone. Dawn you are always on the ball ready for anything coming your way. Ryan you dance like everyone is watching in the best way and show the world how much you truly love yourself. Jeremy your leadership as a section leader led us to have a group that worked incredibly well with one another and made each of us feel empowered.  Marcus Kelly and the entire operations team you somehow got 452 names on paper to appear as ambassadors in Chicago on Loyola’s campus which is truly amazing.  You kept everyone safe and kept the staff in the know.  Angie Magazino and the program team you created a program that had speakers and activities that were impactful and inspiring.  As a first time WLC volunteer I thank God that Marcus Edwards took a chance on me and believed in me.  And Jeremy I couldn’t have asked for a better section leader to have drafted me my first year.  Everyone on staff you played a role in empowering me to empower my ambassadors.  Whether that has a simple hello or a big hug you kept me going even after only 3 hours of sleep.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart to the entire HOBY organization for allowing me this opportunity.  Thank you to my friends who shared their favorite quotes so that I could share them with my ambassadors. It truly was a team effort.  If you want to learn more please talk to me because I could spend hours talking about what HOBY means to me! If you feel compelled to give to an organization that is empowering future leaders then do it!

            But at the end of the day really it’s pretty simple.  Laugh often, love much, and never miss an opportunity to smile!

Blue Crew: Luke, Ryan, JT, Dawn, Megan, Erin, Jeremy 

The end of the best

 

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Move in day, JMAC, September 2011

Since middle school I've been writing "2015" as my anticipated college graduation date.  That always seemed like a far off date until IT HAPPENED! June 6, 2015 was the day I graduated from the University of Denver.  I graduated with 2 degrees (psychology and international studies), 3 minors (leadership, religious studies, and biology) and studied abroad in Vina del Mar, Chile and Florence, Italy and did it all in 4 years taking a full course load each quarter. If anyone had half the college experience I had they'd have the best time of their life.  If college is the best four years of my life, well they sure were incredible!

       I didn't graduate with a 4.0GPA, I don't have a job, and I'm not in a relationship. But what do I have? A passport filled with stamps from 16 countries traveled in 4 years, five thousand+ pictures, rocks from climbing 14,000 foot mountains, medals from winning ice skating competitions, journals filled with funny stories.  I have waterskied in Minnesota, ice skated at Dartmouth, played lacrosse coast to coast, been on the wrong side of the bridge in St. Louis, spent full days at Disneyland, been to 5 NHL games, watched the Broncos on a sunny day, shot guns in Wyoming, white water rafted in Aspen, skied at 15 resorts.  I've seen the sunrise multiple times, stargazed in the mountains, and snowshoed at midnight.  I've skied the Alps and bungee jumped at the highest bungee in Latin America. I got to coach lacrosse, ice skating and Girls on the Run. I've volunteered over 500 hours for organizations in Utah and Colorado including the presidential debate and Colorado Adaptive Sports Foundation each offering unique and life altering experiences. I've tried curling and played on broomball and flag football teams.

Quandry Peak 14er, fall 2012

     But what I really graduated with are friends that will last a lifetime (mom always said your college friends will be friends forever) Friends who I've spent holidays with and their families have become like my own.  Friends who we've cried together with and laughed until we cried. Friends who have seen me at the ice rink on my worst days and my best.  Friends who know more about me after spending 4 years with me, than people I've known a lifetime.  Friends who are down to go on random drives, rollerblade to the grocery store at midnight to buy ice cream, or try out a new church on Sundays.  We've shared talks on the megabed till 3am, ate entire party pails of ice cream in a week, and baked goodies for the homeless.  I'm friends with the nerds, pot heads, athletes, alcoholics, outdoorsy, hipsters and everything in between and they've all been influences on my life.  I've had lots of firsts in college- seeing weed  (still have never tried it), stand up paddle boarding, NHL&NFL games, camping with friends instead of family, a cross country road trip.  I learned that even if people make decisions that I may never want for my own life, they're still great people and have something to share with the world.  People's actions don't make them a "bad" person; we're all here to pursue our own ideas of happiness.  Every one of you has taught me something about myself or the world and I truly could not be more grateful! You've shown me what unconditional love looks like. I mean-I still say hi to the people I met freshman year and people still seem to want to hang out with me even after I dance like a fool and snort at my own jokes!

Friends in town, winter 2013

     So thanks for the mems and the big hugs.  I came to a state where climbing mountains and rafting rivers are normal weekend activities. I came to a city where there are 7 professional sports teams and Rockies tickets are $4. I came to a school were I babysit for my professors and they take me out to coffee and watch my skating shows.  I came to a place where 25 students was a big class. I came to a place where it isn't a question of whether you study abroad it's a question of where you want to go. I came to a place where most of us had similar upbringings-sports, church, musical activities, traveling and working parents but we each have different enough experiences to make us unique. A school where there are students from all 50 states and 46 countries with 63% of the students not being from Colorado.

Winter Carnival 2013

     Thank you to all the roommates I've had who have put up with my schedule and have helped me day in and day out (even finding my phone buried in snow at Beaver Creek), thanks to cousin Maggie for taking me out to dinners to talk about life, thanks to the figure skating team for letting me be your president, thanks to professors for caring about my success. To the countless people who came to ice skating performances, celebrated birthdays, and drove me to and from the airport thank you.  Thanks for traveling with me abroad and sleeping in airports. Thank you for helping me with schoolwork and letting me cry on your shoulders. Thanks for keeping track of how many times you can make me snort in a night. Thanks to all the visitors who have come to experience my college life whether you stayed in JMAC, Nelson, Florence or Unit 3.
 
   

Mom and Dad, Rocky Mountain NP fall 2014

Most importantly thanks mom and dad.  Thank you for listening to me cry on the phone when I didn't know what to study. Thanks for for writing those tuition checks every quarter. Thanks for reading and editing my papers. Thanks for the care packages full of cookie cakes and random holiday decorations. Thanks for letting me travel the world and supporting me even if I was traveling alone on sketchy trains. Thanks for encouraging me to have internships instead of babysitting during the summers. Thanks for coming to visit and taking my friends to Park Burger and Koas pizza. Thanks for opening our home and cabin to my friends who you may have never met. Thanks for cooking a Thanksgiving feast for 20 of us in Chile. Thanks for coming to national lacrosse games and my final ice skating show.  I'll never forget you crying in the stands mom during my last performance knowing that you've been in ice rinks for 19 years watching your little girl perform alone on the ice.  Thank you for making me a book of stories and pictures complied from dozens of friends about our journey together (best gift ever). Thanks for believing in me!

The boys, Atacama Desert fall 2013

   I really hope you know how grateful I am for this expensive experience. I've gotten to do more things and travel more places in four years than most people experience in a lifetime.  I do realize that and hope I have made the most of opportunities that have come my way.  I may not know exactly what I'm doing in this world, but I go to bed every night happy with the person I am. I wake up excited for the day and all the adventures a new day brings. This is an exciting time in my life where I have no strings attached and all the freedom I could ever want.  I thank God for 4 years of learning and growing and can only pray that the next 80 years of my life is half as fun as the past 4 years.  So raise a glass of water, Fireball, or champagne and toast to an unforgettable 4 years!!! Cheers
 

Figure Skating and hockey team, spring 2015

Patagonia, winter 2013

Florence, Italy spring 2014

Jasmine and Laurel visit to Voodoo, winter 2015

Santa Barbara Lacrosse, 2015

Pioneer Leadership Program, spring 2015 

Unit 3 roommates, Spring 2015
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