Happy 27th Birthday Erin....Letter to myself 365 days ago.

**posted in August because I left this in draft mode since May**

Happy birthday Erin! Happy 2-7. As you celebrate another birthday, and this time it's during a pandemic here's a letter to yourself 365 days ago.....

    Another year of adventures with some pretty awesome people.  This year you're going to focus on things that bring you joy and being intentional with the things you say and do.  Joy and happiness are different. You are extremely happy, but this year you'll question more of what and who bring you joy.  Sometimes people say "just say 'no' more", but in reality, you need to say yes more to the things that bring you joy and politely decline the things that don't bring you joy. There will be a lot of people who bring you joy here in Alaska-Jake, Michael, Tara, Hanna and many others. These are the people you spend time with because they fill you with joy. 

People you care about are going to accomplish and live out their dreams this year. You don't know it yet, and neither does he but this year, you'll watch the friend you ran to the grocery store at midnight with for ice cream, or around Wash Park run in the Olympic Trials Marathon in Atlanta and become the 67th fastest American marathon male of the year. You'll watch him via live stream as he qualifies for that race. 

Officiating Jake and Michael

You'll do something you've never done this year, but will instantly want to do more of it after you do. Officiating Jake and Michael's wedding on a gorgeous, sunny day in Homer will make your heart so full. Some of the words you said in the ceremony ring true now more than ever "No matter who we are, where we’re from, or what we believe, we all know one thing- loving each other is what we as people do best", "love is born from the experience of writing your own story." You'll continue watching wedding videos and toasting people saying 'I love love!'

You're on a wild ride at work but hang on tight because the story is getting good. You'll be vulnerable and have a goal to be more assertive.  You'll take Sheryl Sandberg's words to heart and you will Lean In! You're going to take 26 new hires on tours of the northern half of the pipeline and you're going to make memories as you spend hours in the back of truck. You'll only spend 4 nights during September in your own bed because you'll be traveling leading those pipeline tours and celebrating other milestones with family and friends.

You'll go to more weddings and continue loving to dance to 'Shut up and Dance' even though that song was popular years ago. You'll toast at Angie's wedding and cry as you write it because you have made SO many good memories together around the world. 

Ang-July 13th

The summer will bring visitors and plenty of fun trips around the state except there will be raging fires burning the size of Chicago. You're going to experience history- living in Anchorage as it experiences the hottest day on record, 90 degrees on July 6! Every store will be out of fans and water toys.

Hottest day in Anchorage- 90 degrees with Murph

You'll pick blueberries and extremely large zucchini in the summer sun. You'll go to yoga and leave saying 'gosh I should do that more often' because it's like a gift to yourself especially when it's hot yoga in the dead of winter.

You're going to spend a year in school living a dream you dreamt and wrote down when you were

Pepperdine-August 2019

in elementary school. You will LOVE school even if it brings late nights or extra time spent on a computer. You're going to meet life long friends in your program at Pepperdine even if you won't be with them physically.                                          

                                                                                                                 

Grandma glowing at the birthday bash

You'll get to celebrate Grandma's 95th birthday and Uncle Kevin's 65th at a brewery in Lewiston at a surprise gathering in September. Grandma will be her true self and give a loving toast, smile wide, and will glow in pictures taking it all in. You'll get to see them again a few weeks later and will pick a bouquet of flowers at a farm in Moscow to give to grandma as you share that bond of loving flowers.  You'll arrive at her house after a red-eye and she'll have food on the table and will welcome you with open arms. She will get sick in November and it'll scare and sadden our big family. You'll break your rule of not eating in bed and have a bowl of ice cream when you find out she's in the hospital because grandma loves ice cream. The stroke will change her physical ability but the woman has lived a dang good life and she will forever be your #1 role model no matter where she is. She'll smile when you Facetime her and be excited to listen. She's here on this earth with us celebrating her 96th birthday in March.

You've been here long enough that you've made true traditions of your own- the blueberry festival in August, the state fair in September, the Merry Merchant Munch in Eagle River in December, Iditarod in March. You'll feel like a local and now feel that 'was that last year or the year before?' feeling that only comes after doing things multiple times.  

Fishing the Russian River

You'll also have some firsts- your first train ride in Alaska will be in September for a charity event, first time seeing not one but two Cirque du Soleil shows in Las Vegas, first time to Joshua Tree National Park, first time playing in a company golf tournament, first time watching a movie in a cemetery in LA, first time seeing DU play hockey in Alaska, first time fishing the Russian, first (and only) time having your bike stolen but you'll recover it. 

Utah Jake visits for Iditarod

You'll travel around the states visiting family and friends and people will continue to be in awe that you live in Alaska and ask you when you'll move 'back'. A pandemic will dramatically change the world as you know it. On March 8th you'll celebrate the Iditarod out in Willow on the lake and there is going to be sooo much snow. You'll play like a kid with both Jakes! That will really sink in for you on March 11 when you're supposed to be skiing with college friends in Utah that weekend but everything starts shutting down- the NBA, ski resorts, schools. This pandemic will be full of loss for a lot of people but will also be full opportunity; it will make or break some people.  You thought 2020 was going to be full of great stuff, and it probably will but it's also got a pandemic raging around the globe, but you don't know that yet because it's only 2019 ;)

Above all you'll continue loving life, loving the people in it and giving thanks to all you've been given. You'll continue throwing your arms up for photos, encouraging people to smile with their teeth, and hanging on to childhood roots by playing as often as you can. Life is good Erin, I know you won't forget that.

Nat and Natalie-August 2019

Mara at the cemetery movie in LA

Surprise! Family trip to Vegas for Pop's 60th

Work trip to Prudhoe-November 

Family trip to Hilton Head- November

Garret 'fan-favorite' Lee running first Olympic Trials-Leap Day

Happy 25th Birthday....Letter to myself 365 days ago

Work trip to Valdez

 This is me, this is 25 and if this coming year is anything like the past year you’re going to be high on life!! You’ll make thousands of more memories. I’m really excited about this coming year. I know it’s going to be a good one.  But for now, as I sit in a coffee shop on a rainy day in my favorite little town in the world I’m going to write a letter to myself 365 days ago when I turned 24..

Dear Erin Elizabeth-

Alyeska Resort- Alaska Jake, Erin, Utah Jake

 You’re still in Alaska! Did you think that was going to happen? I know mom and dad didn’t really and you doubted yourself at times. A lot people keep asking ‘when are you coming home?’ Well this is your home.  Sure you do miss the Wasatch Mountains, Ruth’s diner, skiing at Snowbird, and hanging out with friends; but Alaska will feel more and more like home. You moved here 2.5 years ago with 2 suitcases and now you’ve established a life for yourself. This year has made you feel much more comfortable living in a place that was pretty strange when it started.  You’ve grown more accustomed to people wearing jeans to weddings, lots of bearded men, and staying up till 4 am in the summer when it never gets dark. 

Anchorage sunset at 11:41pm with Mara

You had little ‘Alaskan’ moments this year- red neck camping out looking for grouse, eating reindeer sausages, partying with mushers the day before the Iditarod started, wearing your Xtra Tufts to go ‘snagging’ for reds, having a keen eye for bear and moose.  This year will be filled with more memories all around Alaska. You’re going to go meet up with college friends in South East Alaska and Alaska Jake will come along. You’ll camp in Hope and will wake up floating in your tent because the tide rose so high. You’ll go fly fishing when all other plans get rained out in Talkeetna and Mat’s drone will get stuck in a tree. You’ll play trivia with new friends and only be able to figure out a few answers. You’re going to eat at 49^th State Brewery a lot because their set up is perfect with outdoor seating and a view of Denali and their food is good too. You’ll go fishing at 10pm and filet the fish in a rainstorm when it’s dark. You’ll camp on the beach in Homer and then drive back to Anchorage at 2am singing Taylor Swift with Mara.  There will be nights that you just don’t want to go to sleep because life is so much fun and the sun is out all night long.  You’ll take a taxi to a campground in Ketchikan after realizing that the airport is on an island and you have to take a ferry to even get to town.  You’ll kayak with sea lions in Glacier Bay National Park and Jake will get a little freaked out.  Riding 4 wheelers across the beach in Homer with Kiki will put the biggest grin on your face.  You’ll go skiing with Brandan and crew and race each other down the mountain at 8pm.  You’ll hike 3 miles across a frozen lake out to a remote cabin and spend the night with a blazing fire in the stove. Skating on the winter solstice will remain a tradition for the third year in a row.  Kiki will come back with her husband for the Iditarod and you’ll have a blast doing Alaskan things and taking a million pictures. 

You’re going to meet some pretty dang cool people Erin.  People that will inevitably stay with you forever and will change your perspectives on things. A few of those people will include new friends from work and the mountain men.  You’ll still be the youngest one in the office but you’ll make some pretty special connections with people from work. People that will go fishing with you and will volunteer for HOBY.  The mountain men will show you what pure determination is. They’ll open your eyes to more adventures. They’ll make you hungry to do more, be more. They will make you laugh harder than you have in a long time.

You’ll have a day when you go for a run on the beach in Homer at the end of January and you will have tears streaming down your face because you are so grateful for the life you are living every day. God is so good.  It’ll be one of the top highlights of the year because the sun will shine, the wind will blow through your hair, you’ll be alone and you’ll feel all of God’s grace. 

You’ll continue having many weekends where you start with zero plans and end up having a phenomenal time. Angie, Kiki, Allyson, Mara and more will all come up to experience weekends like that. They’ll laugh when you pick them up at the airport and ask if they’re ready for an adventure.  That’s still your favorite word by the way (adventure). You’ll continue enjoying showing off Alaska to all the visitors that come. This place is pretty amazing and you are still living your dream every single day.

HOBY will be a huge part of your life still. You’ve now touched the lives of over 100 Alaskan sophomores and they are bettering the world every single day. You’ll get graduation announcements from ambassadors, write letters of recommendation and celebrate in their successes when they tell you that they received enough scholarship money to go to their dream school. You’ll get more people involved with HOBY and they’ll realize the power of the organization.

Erin you love life more than ever before. You’re challenged every day by a new situation. You’ll read a lot of new books. Your friends will continue showering you with love no matter where they are in the world. You’ll know you are loved. You’re going to get a little bit better at making decisions, but there is plenty of room for improvement. You’re going to continue going to church alone for most of the year but then you’ll meet up with friends to go to some other churches. Your coworkers will tell you that they are vicariously living through you as you travel the world but make it back into the office at 6:30 Monday mornings ready to work.  You’re going to experience the loss of your grandpa and that’ll be tough especially when you receive the call at work. You’ll long for one more whisker kiss but you’ll be full of gratitude that he lived for nearly 93 years and passes down a lasting legacy to fill this great earth. You’ll gain two other angels- Great Uncle Dale and Great Aunt Mary. What incredible examples they’ve been in your life and what a blessing to have them on your journey still.   They taught you to smell every flower and appreciate them. I think that’s partially why you love flowers more than you ever have before. You’ll receive more flower gifts from friends and family and you won’t feel bad at all that they cost money and are going to die because you enjoy them while they’re alive!! You can’t spend your life not doing or buying something because the inevitable death is going to come; just embrace it.

Erin you’re going to work on opening your heart this year. Opening your heart to more people in Alaska. Instead of feeling like this place is still foreign and you’re probably going to leave try and let more people in. Embrace all the craziness everyday. I hope you truly realize how good you have it; I think you will. How blessed you are to have the family you do. The family in the lower 48 and the family in Alaska. You’re going to experience the birth of a brand new baby cousin and you’ll get to hold him in the hospital 10 hours after he was born. He’ll show you more miracles and the goodness of people.  See that goodness even when you see crime all around you. You’re going to impress yourself. You are an incredibly strong and confidant woman; you can do anything! Keep believing in yourself and people around you will do so as well.  Don’t be too afraid of anything because there’s not much to be afraid of. Light up the world!

Jonathan, Erin, Will, Brandan

 

Mat, Erin, Angie-Talkeetna

Kiki and Erin- Homer

Grand Canyon- Logan, Brandan, Mur, Erin

HOBY AK staff

Fly fishing Talkeetna

Adam and Erin

Family Thanksgiving golf - Hilton Head National

"HOME"

Cheers to 2 years in Alaska

"Are you on your home?" said the man sitting next to me on a flight from Salt Lake to Denver. I looked at him and kind of laughed. "I guess so" I responded.  At one time I did call Denver 'home', after I moved there from my hometown of Salt Lake.  I called it home the day after I moved into my Jmac dorm with Rachel freshman year of college.  I considered Denver home for 4 years.  But intermittently during those 4 years I also called Cooperstown, New York home for 3 months.  The wooden bunk beds, bathhouse shower, styrofoam plates were all what would be my home.   And then I called 7 oriente and 7 oriente home in Vina del Mar, Chile for 5 months.  My little room off the kitchen with a Mickey Mouse bedspread was my home.  Mama and Papa treated me like one of their own bringing me along on family trips and celebrating every Sunday with a 4 hour meal.  Then I called pension Nazionale home for 4 months in Florence eating with our pension family for 3 meals a day. 

Nazionale family. Florence, Italy

Chilean host family

Homer, Alaska

Now for the past 2 years I've called Alaska 'home.' The dark winter nights, the summer days filled with fishing, hiking and camping, the canoe outings in October and the 9:30pm golf nights in May. It really is home. I feel comfortable here. More than comfortable I feel challenged. It didn't always feel like home when I first went south on the highway when I lived north. It didn't feel like home when I would google the nearest grocery store. Sometimes I still feel like I'm living in a movie here when I'm camping with strangers who are all talking about the biggest animals they've ever hunted but it's home and these people are part of it and I like it.     

    Words can mean a lot of different things to different people and I'd like to think that I can choose what 'home' means to me.  The dictionary defines home: a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.  I think you can call many places home. I've called my tent home when it's the only shelter I've got for miles. There's that cliche phrase "home is where the heart is" and I've never really bought that. My heart is with so many people and places all over the world that I've never even been to and wouldn't consider home.  Home to me is wherever you want it to be. Whatever couch, tent, bed you want.  There's that idea of 'home field'/'home team' that athletes feel. Growing up the ice rink was like a home and any piece of ice to this today brings a feeling of comfort that I'd get from home.  

Friends from growing up still ask "when are you coming home?" and honestly I spend more days throughout the year in Seattle than I do in the place I grew up, but to them it'll always be home. It currently isn't really my home but yet my parents still live in the house I grew up in so in a way it'll always be home.

Another question I laugh at, "where are you from?" Well I live in Anchorage, but I wasn't born there but the friends that I'm currently with are from all over the country but we know each other because we lived together in Denver. We were all physically born someplace, but each place we've lived/been/experienced has contributed who we currently are.  So answer that question however you want because really we come from a lot of different places.  We're complex people from a combination of backgrounds and experiences.

So "yes" I'm going home. Home to Denver, or home to Salt Lake or home to Alaska; it's all home. It's all given me warmth and peace and love and contributed to who I am! Don't get hung up on the details, it's okay to call multiple places home. 

Christmas in Salt Lake

Sadie Cove, Alaska

        

          Day 1 JMac dorm with Rachel

Barracks in Cooperstown, New York

       

Unit 3 roommates for graduation

Because it's there....

"Because it's there".... seems like a reasonable response when someone asks you why you are going to do something. Now what if that was your response when someone asked you why you were about to put your body through some of the harshest, most unrelenting physical and mental pain that you'll ever experience?  I've lived near mountains my entire life minus a few months in Europe and to me mountains are a sanctuary. They pull you in and hug you tight as you enjoy their grandeur.  It's as if they hold secrets to life, but maybe you're the one holding secrets about yourself and the mountains help you explore them.

 Denali, "The Great One", stands 20,320 feet above the Alaskan wilderness and is the tallest mountain in North America.  The mountain was formally referred to as Mt. McKinley from 1917-2015 when Obama officially changed the federal name back to Denali.  It's about 130 miles northwest of Anchorage and on a clear day you can see it's summit from the big city.  She is actually taller than Everest (greater vertical rise starting at 2,000' versus Everest at 14,000' above sea level) and one of the most alluring mountains I've ever seen.  She stands proud in the Alaska Range next to Mt. Foraker and Mt Hunter.  In 2017 1,189 climbers spent time on Denali with 42% of them reaching the summit.

On May 6th, 2017 a group of mountain men set off to climb the highest peak in North America. This is no group of average dudes who decided on a whim to do this. Years of training has led to this moment. It’s not cheap and it’s not easy; it’s a commitment and a sacrifice. 

We’ll focus on a few of these ‘mountain men’ for this story (I’m not sure how we gave them that title but it seems fitting to me)

Dom-  29-year-old Kiwi with a smile and zest for life unlike anyone else who laughs when Americans often times confuse him for an Aussie

Mat- 29-year-old Berkeley native with an ‘up for anything’ attitude who found his way to the shores of Nicaragua after studying finance in Boulder, CO

Zac/Tex- 30-year-old engineer with a laugh that makes your heart so happy who’s visited over 60 countries and lived around the world but currently resides in Texas

Yuval (UV)- 35-year-old husband and father of 2 beautiful daughters from Israel who grew up going to American schools while living abroad

Denali above the clouds

A few others set off on the expedition as well.  Mark who played in the NFL and is now set on climbing the tallest peaks on all seven continents, Sam from Silicon Valley working in the tech industry, and Mike Hamill an internationally renowned climbing guide. This blog could go on for days if we were to talk about each of them, and they do each have a story of their own, but we’ll focus on the first four mentioned.

This is their story.....

May 6^th, 2017. Base camp of Denali is at 17,000’.  You fly up to base camp from Talkeenta (check out Talkeetna Air Taxi) in a small plane outfitted to land on snow and ice. In Talkeetna the final preparations have concluded-enough freezer dried food for weeks, a check-in at the ranger station, only the necessities packed in your 50lb plus bags, sleds checked out, ropes tied and retied, carabineers checked. Talkeetna is home to 876 people and has a cat as a mayor.  There are no rules about open alcohol containers here and people walk around freely in their sandals.   Lots of people have missing teeth and live off the grid where they have no water or electricity. If you come to Alaska check out Talkeetna; it’s sure to provide you with lots of laughter and a wealth of friendly people.

The next 3 weeks were spent with Mike guiding his group of 6 up the mountain. Some days temperatures were above zero and the sky was blue overhead. Other days the wind howled and even the slightest skin exposure could lead to frostbite. Some days you could climb to the next camp, while others were spent hunkered down in your tent inside the ice wall you built.  There’s no cell service here, no one to tell you to trim your beard, no one to tell you what’s happening in regards to American politics. It’s just you, and your partners, and the mountain.  Your agenda looks pretty similar each day-take down camp or just start hiking, one person boils snow for water and the others, pack your pack and head on up then set up camp, boil more water, talk about life, and catch some sleep at all random times of the day. Each climber has their own preferences when climbing-listening to audio books, listening to Chris Stapleton or some other legendary artist or listening to the sounds around you. At times your pace is that of an elderly grandma. Other times you find yourself standing on a pitch with a few thousand feet drop offs on either side of you. The slightest mistake could cost your life.

Unfortunately, this expedition ended without your iconic picture standing on top of the summit.  A forecasted storm calling for -85F degree temps and 100mph winds doesn’t make well for a summit push.  The crew headed down the mountain and back to Talkeetna.  Dozens were forced to cut their expeditions short because of this storm; that’s just not something you mess with.

It was after this expedition that I met Zac, Mat, and Dom in Anchorage.  When talking to them it was clear they’re a little disheartened. It’s like a slap in the face when something completely out of your control determines your destiny for the time being. But after about 30 seconds of disheartened talk they are extremely eager, humble and positive about this hobby of theirs.  They are so hungry for more. If you were to ask “are you bummed that you couldn’t summit?” their response would be something along the lines of “oh yeah it’s a huge bummer, but hey what can you do. Life goes on”. What a good outlook to have on life! Zac posted a message on facebook that was fitting, “Am I bummed? No doubt. Anytime you want something that bad for years, spend months preparing for, and weeks executing for and not even get an opportunity to take your shot, that's rough. It will sting for a while, but I'm even hungrier for it now. I'll be back in a few years.”

Mat and Zac toured the Kenai Peninsula for a few days after the climb catching halibut, talking with bear hunters, beating the locals at pool, seeing puffins, and enjoying the local whiskey and beer.  Dom headed to California to the happiest place on earth with his girlfriend. Life seemed to be moving on, but the pull of Denali and her summit was always on their mind.

Dom and Mat returned to Alaska a short time later to conquer the mountain again.  My friend Angie was visiting from Utah while they were here and we ended up giving them and all their gear a ride to Talkeetna from Anchorage.  We spent the next unintended 48 hours in the little town camping, driving them around as they prepped for another expedition, eating out at every single restaurant, watching the rangers give their mandatory spiel, tossing the football in the park, playing hour long games of ping pong at the Fairview and fly fishing on Montana Creek.  I say unintended because Angie and I were only going to be there for a day and the guys were supposed to fly up to base camp. Weather delayed that so we made the best of our time. It felt like groundhog day as we walked around town yet again, but when you’ve got a good crew to hang out with there’s not many other places you’d rather be.  More inside jokes were created and more laughs shared in that 48 period than I have had in a long time. These seemingly strangers turned into great friends in a matter of memories.

Angie and I wished them well and they flew up to camp.  The next 9 days were a push for that summit. There was an incredible amount of drive, adrenaline and determination on this trek.  They had left a cache (stuff buried as you climb up in elevation and then descend to sleep) of food, Mat’s wallet, and the memories of Mat’s best friend on the mountain on the previous trek. Talk about motivation.  They climbed and climbed having some great days, and others where the clouds were overhead and wind whistled through the tent.  They met a guy name Yuval who wandered over to their tent with some hot drinks. From there a real friendship and bond was formed. The three of them summited the mountain together on an absolutely beautiful day.  Reed told Mat that one day he was going to make it to the summit of America’s tallest peak and Mat made sure he did just that.  Emotions run high on any mountain or after accomplishing such a physical and mental feat as this but those emotions are amplified even more when brining your friend to a place that you’d long talked about to celebrate his life.  It takes a special person to stay committed to that promise that was made.  They took some memorable pictures and headed down the mountain because the summit isn’t exactly a place you want to spend much time.

Denali. June 10, 2017

If you need another motivation to climb a mountain try climbing it with a man who a few years ago was plagued by MS.  Diagnosed at age 25 he went from being an independent, extremely healthy young man to one who couldn’t walk or bathe himself.  That man is Yuval and he’s now a European ambassador MS. He’s an engineer by day, father by night, and a climber, motivational speaker and ambassador in his other time.  Dom said the two most powerful moments of the trip were watching Mat on top celebrate Reed's life, and watching UV walk with an extremely heavy pack on his back after he had surpassed his 100% physical limit. 

They finished the trek with a flight back to Talkeetna and a proper celebration at the Fairview Inn.  They ended back in Anchorage for one last night with us before heading their separate ways. UV stayed a few extra days to explore Alaska and it was inspiring to spend time with a man who is so level headed, humble, humorous and grateful.  Grateful to be living a life doing things he loves every day.

I asked each of them why they climb…. “To rediscover your limits” said UV. “Because they are there” replied Dom. “My happy place is in the mountains. I’m my best self there” said Mat.

We're all climbing some sort of mountain in our lives and it's up to us to decide which one's are worth the climb.  You could be climbing the corporate ladder, climbing the treehouse to play with your kids, or maybe climbing a physical or mental health battle.  What gets you through climbing your mountain? I'd say a smile, positive attitude, and a phenomenal friend and family support base can't hurt. I’m so grateful that I met these mountain men who taught me about mountain climbing, but more than that showed me the importance of having an attitude that remains determined, hungry for more and ever positive and a heart that never hardens.

To the summit!! Cheers to your time in Alaska. You may have left for now but I know that you’ll all come back!

Check out Mat's video of their trip here...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03wDEcvcFIc&feature=youtu.be

camp

The summit. Yuval, Dom, Mat

flight into base camp

heading up

Mat, Dom, Zac, Mark