Happy 28th Birthday Erin....Letter to myself 365 days ago.

 28 the great! Hey let's see if that rings true this next year. In the spirit of reflection here's a letter to myself 365 days ago when I turned a mere 27.

Vaccine dose #1- March 6 Alaska Airlines Center

Holy smokes you're living in what is being called 'unprecedented times', 'once in a lifetime, 'never before experienced'. There's a global pandemic that's been going on in full force since March. It's going to go on a LOT longer than people will imagine. In March 2021 you're going to get 2 doses of the Moderna vaccine for a virus that didn't exist just a short time ago.  You won't experience any side effects from the shots, and no the government won't be trying to hack your identity. On March 18th, 2020 you woke up and started working from home. You decided to not wear any make-up for just that day, which turned into that week and that month and then you'll still not wear make-up for this whole next year.  You'll spend your entire year of being 27 without putting on any makeup even though you never wore much before.

   

Otter Cove August 21-Graduation Day!

You thought you loved Pepperdine and your graduate program in management and leadership a lot but you're really going to love it as you live in this pandemic. You'll 'see' your classmates more than you'll see any other humans some weeks. You'll spend upwards of 10 hours per week via video conference with some of your classmates. You'll be mentally stimulated and will have a schedule to stick to. You will finish a 6-month project with I-5 Freedom Network helping them educate survivors of human trafficking. Your classmates will remain your close friends after you finish the program and your professors will continue to care so much about you and your whole being. You'll graduate from the first cohort of the MSML (Masters of Science Management and Leadership) hybrid program at Pepperdine.  Even though you won't go to Malibou for a traditional graduation ceremony you'll spend that weekend in August in Kachemak Bay first on the deck of Lands End and then out at a cabin at Otter Cove where there will be no other guests. You wrote this goal down in elementary school, 'get my Masters degree' and 2020 will be the year you accomplish that goal.

Sailing! July 2020

   You'll spend a night out anchored on a sailboat in Ressurection Bay on a girls sailing trip. You'll jump off the boat for a quick morning dip, and walk onshore for an evening beach walk. You're going to camp every weekend from May to October that you're in Alaska, 17 weekends in total.  The rule is a new camp spot each time.  Sometimes you're going to have really quick trips, 7pm-7am at Eklutna Lake, because of your school schedule and meetups with classmates or homework. There's plenty of daylight so you'll still play cards and go on bike rides. You'll end up pushing your camping limits and wake up in extreme frost in Hatcher's Pass in late September, and spend hours listening to the rain pound your tent at Rainbow Lake. You'll play more golf and play a course you haven't played before- Settler's Bay. You'll bike and fish. You'll attempt to dipnet the Copper River but that turns into more of a funny camp adventure. You're going to dipnet off Murph's homemade jet boat on the Kasilof and the boat will catch 28 fish in 3 hours. You'll catch 2 fish in your net at once! You'll end up processing all of that fish in the backyard and sharing it as presents to people. 

You started walking at least 10,000 steps per day on May 1, 2020 and little do you know you're going to keep that up every day for the next year.  These walks will bring you more joy than you realize at first. You'll listen to lots of podcasts, Brene Brown's Dare to Lead and Unlocking us will be among your favorites for walks, so will the Michelle Obama podcast, the SIP, and Outsiders. Sometimes you'll walk at 11pm in the summer, and in the winter you'll bundle up and put on a reflective vest. You'll go on long drives and listen to more podcasts- Armchair expert and How I Built This will be your favorites for long drives. Board and card games will become more a part of your life. Monopoly Deal and Splendor will be played almost

Dad, mom, Erin and TJ- Snowbird Christmas

 weekly in 2021. Evolution, Dutch Blitz, Pit and Unlock will be played with small groups of friends as you navigate this pandemic and how to maintain an in-person social life. You'll play virtual games at work too like Scattegories and Pictionary. You're going to buy the Peloton app and do workouts daily. You don't have the Peloton bike or treadmill but there are so many other workouts, you'll especially love the outdoor running ones because it's like having a coach in your ear. You'll ski and have to wear a face-covering the whole time. You'll teach a few ski lessons with Challenge Alaska and see the joy on these kid's faces even while you're all masked up.

You'll do Whole30, well actually it's more like Whole46 for the entirety of Lent. Your church you've been going to for a couple of years, Heart of the City, will close down in July. You'll find Flatirons church in Colorado and attend that virtually on Sundays from the couch. You'll move and listen in a culdesac for the first time in your life. The change of scenery will have you living so close to a seemingly endless trail system that you'll get to explore on your own and with friends in person or during one of your many phone calls.

Castner Glacier Cave

You'll do things you've never done and will have some really great experiences- fat tire biking, ice skating as part of a video for the Coke Scholars banquet, HOBY virtual conferences for the WLC and for Alaska, officiate a wedding in a friend's living room, virtual games with friends and family around the world, staying at the Captain Cook hotel. You'll explore places in Alaska and play tourist in your state- Nancy Lake cabin #2, Eagle River Nature Center river yurt, Knik Glacier Lodge, and Castner Glacier. Your trip up to the Lodge at Black Rapids hiking on Castner Glacier while then seeing the northern lights and sitting in a wood-fired sauna will prove to be one of the most unforgettable and best weekends of your life. 

Jake and Erin Central Park, May 2021

  You'll travel Outside far less than any years past but you'll still get out. A trip to the cabin in Star Valley for the first time in 5 years, water skiing Hells Canyon, Lewiston, Salt Lake, Texas and NYC. You'll play pickleball with friends at Christmas time and go on walks because the pandemic and the guidelines and best practice of not being in close contact with people indoors. 

Father's day Boise River float

Family golf at the cabin

Love ya grams. November 2020 Lewiston

You'll see grandma in Lewiston just before Thanksgiving. Goodness, waving at your grandma through a window and not being able to just hug her is rough, like crying in mom's arms rough. Using a phone to talk through the window to have a conversation. You'll send grandma mail and you'll call her and chat even though it's hard to make out her words since her stroke.  She'll listen and very clearly end a phone call with 'I love you'. Grandma will ultimately move on to heaven on February 16 while family says a prayer and links arms singing Amazing Grace. You'll Facetime her shortly before as mom strokes her hair and holds her hand. One of the last things in her mouth will be a raspberry milkshake which brings a smile to your face. With God's timing, she passed on Fat Tuesday so you'll celebrate her by getting a milkshake for yourself and walking in the forest talking on the phone to Mur who has been there for every happy and sad moment of your life for the past almost decade.  Goodness was she an incredible person, and what a legacy she leaves. You've got her middle name, and Elizabeth will never make you more proud than it does when you think of your almost 97-year-old grams and the life she lived.

   

Skiing. Lodge at Black Rapids

What a life you live Erin.  A life of continuous self-discovery. A life where you are challenged and inspired at work. You'll have a lot of changes at work and you'll learn a lot- your boss will show you what it truly means to lead with empathy and vulnerability. You'll discover that one of your strengths is to 're-think' and you'll do that almost to a fault always trying to find the best ways to do things.  And just like every other blog you've written, 'adventure' still is your favorite word and became more impactful this year. For someone like you who loves hugs and spending time with friends and strangers this will be a challenging year because of the pandemic, thank God you've got some people in your close circle. Cheers to you, and cheers to living this year that's crazy/wild/not normal/unpredictable/masked and yet amazing all in one. You're sooooo fortunate to live in America, and a place like Alaska where there are wide open spaces. You're extremely fortunate to not be lonely and to have medical care and a vaccine. Never take that for granted.

xoxo,

Erin

Cousin walk in Boise

Company golf tournament

Hells Canyon with mom and dad

Camping Hatchers Pass

Nancy Lake Fat Biking

Rylie on a layover. Kincaid Park

'Spring Break' Big Bend NP, West Texas. April 2021

Happy 27th Birthday Erin....Letter to myself 365 days ago.

**posted in August because I left this in draft mode since May**

Happy birthday Erin! Happy 2-7. As you celebrate another birthday, and this time it's during a pandemic here's a letter to yourself 365 days ago.....

    Another year of adventures with some pretty awesome people.  This year you're going to focus on things that bring you joy and being intentional with the things you say and do.  Joy and happiness are different. You are extremely happy, but this year you'll question more of what and who bring you joy.  Sometimes people say "just say 'no' more", but in reality, you need to say yes more to the things that bring you joy and politely decline the things that don't bring you joy. There will be a lot of people who bring you joy here in Alaska-Jake, Michael, Tara, Hanna and many others. These are the people you spend time with because they fill you with joy. 

People you care about are going to accomplish and live out their dreams this year. You don't know it yet, and neither does he but this year, you'll watch the friend you ran to the grocery store at midnight with for ice cream, or around Wash Park run in the Olympic Trials Marathon in Atlanta and become the 67th fastest American marathon male of the year. You'll watch him via live stream as he qualifies for that race. 

Officiating Jake and Michael

You'll do something you've never done this year, but will instantly want to do more of it after you do. Officiating Jake and Michael's wedding on a gorgeous, sunny day in Homer will make your heart so full. Some of the words you said in the ceremony ring true now more than ever "No matter who we are, where we’re from, or what we believe, we all know one thing- loving each other is what we as people do best", "love is born from the experience of writing your own story." You'll continue watching wedding videos and toasting people saying 'I love love!'

You're on a wild ride at work but hang on tight because the story is getting good. You'll be vulnerable and have a goal to be more assertive.  You'll take Sheryl Sandberg's words to heart and you will Lean In! You're going to take 26 new hires on tours of the northern half of the pipeline and you're going to make memories as you spend hours in the back of truck. You'll only spend 4 nights during September in your own bed because you'll be traveling leading those pipeline tours and celebrating other milestones with family and friends.

You'll go to more weddings and continue loving to dance to 'Shut up and Dance' even though that song was popular years ago. You'll toast at Angie's wedding and cry as you write it because you have made SO many good memories together around the world. 

Ang-July 13th

The summer will bring visitors and plenty of fun trips around the state except there will be raging fires burning the size of Chicago. You're going to experience history- living in Anchorage as it experiences the hottest day on record, 90 degrees on July 6! Every store will be out of fans and water toys.

Hottest day in Anchorage- 90 degrees with Murph

You'll pick blueberries and extremely large zucchini in the summer sun. You'll go to yoga and leave saying 'gosh I should do that more often' because it's like a gift to yourself especially when it's hot yoga in the dead of winter.

You're going to spend a year in school living a dream you dreamt and wrote down when you were

Pepperdine-August 2019

in elementary school. You will LOVE school even if it brings late nights or extra time spent on a computer. You're going to meet life long friends in your program at Pepperdine even if you won't be with them physically.                                          

                                                                                                                 

Grandma glowing at the birthday bash

You'll get to celebrate Grandma's 95th birthday and Uncle Kevin's 65th at a brewery in Lewiston at a surprise gathering in September. Grandma will be her true self and give a loving toast, smile wide, and will glow in pictures taking it all in. You'll get to see them again a few weeks later and will pick a bouquet of flowers at a farm in Moscow to give to grandma as you share that bond of loving flowers.  You'll arrive at her house after a red-eye and she'll have food on the table and will welcome you with open arms. She will get sick in November and it'll scare and sadden our big family. You'll break your rule of not eating in bed and have a bowl of ice cream when you find out she's in the hospital because grandma loves ice cream. The stroke will change her physical ability but the woman has lived a dang good life and she will forever be your #1 role model no matter where she is. She'll smile when you Facetime her and be excited to listen. She's here on this earth with us celebrating her 96th birthday in March.

You've been here long enough that you've made true traditions of your own- the blueberry festival in August, the state fair in September, the Merry Merchant Munch in Eagle River in December, Iditarod in March. You'll feel like a local and now feel that 'was that last year or the year before?' feeling that only comes after doing things multiple times.  

Fishing the Russian River

You'll also have some firsts- your first train ride in Alaska will be in September for a charity event, first time seeing not one but two Cirque du Soleil shows in Las Vegas, first time to Joshua Tree National Park, first time playing in a company golf tournament, first time watching a movie in a cemetery in LA, first time seeing DU play hockey in Alaska, first time fishing the Russian, first (and only) time having your bike stolen but you'll recover it. 

Utah Jake visits for Iditarod

You'll travel around the states visiting family and friends and people will continue to be in awe that you live in Alaska and ask you when you'll move 'back'. A pandemic will dramatically change the world as you know it. On March 8th you'll celebrate the Iditarod out in Willow on the lake and there is going to be sooo much snow. You'll play like a kid with both Jakes! That will really sink in for you on March 11 when you're supposed to be skiing with college friends in Utah that weekend but everything starts shutting down- the NBA, ski resorts, schools. This pandemic will be full of loss for a lot of people but will also be full opportunity; it will make or break some people.  You thought 2020 was going to be full of great stuff, and it probably will but it's also got a pandemic raging around the globe, but you don't know that yet because it's only 2019 ;)

Above all you'll continue loving life, loving the people in it and giving thanks to all you've been given. You'll continue throwing your arms up for photos, encouraging people to smile with their teeth, and hanging on to childhood roots by playing as often as you can. Life is good Erin, I know you won't forget that.

Nat and Natalie-August 2019

Mara at the cemetery movie in LA

Surprise! Family trip to Vegas for Pop's 60th

Work trip to Prudhoe-November 

Family trip to Hilton Head- November

Garret 'fan-favorite' Lee running first Olympic Trials-Leap Day

Happy 25th Birthday....Letter to myself 365 days ago

Work trip to Valdez

 This is me, this is 25 and if this coming year is anything like the past year you’re going to be high on life!! You’ll make thousands of more memories. I’m really excited about this coming year. I know it’s going to be a good one.  But for now, as I sit in a coffee shop on a rainy day in my favorite little town in the world I’m going to write a letter to myself 365 days ago when I turned 24..

Dear Erin Elizabeth-

Alyeska Resort- Alaska Jake, Erin, Utah Jake

 You’re still in Alaska! Did you think that was going to happen? I know mom and dad didn’t really and you doubted yourself at times. A lot people keep asking ‘when are you coming home?’ Well this is your home.  Sure you do miss the Wasatch Mountains, Ruth’s diner, skiing at Snowbird, and hanging out with friends; but Alaska will feel more and more like home. You moved here 2.5 years ago with 2 suitcases and now you’ve established a life for yourself. This year has made you feel much more comfortable living in a place that was pretty strange when it started.  You’ve grown more accustomed to people wearing jeans to weddings, lots of bearded men, and staying up till 4 am in the summer when it never gets dark. 

Anchorage sunset at 11:41pm with Mara

You had little ‘Alaskan’ moments this year- red neck camping out looking for grouse, eating reindeer sausages, partying with mushers the day before the Iditarod started, wearing your Xtra Tufts to go ‘snagging’ for reds, having a keen eye for bear and moose.  This year will be filled with more memories all around Alaska. You’re going to go meet up with college friends in South East Alaska and Alaska Jake will come along. You’ll camp in Hope and will wake up floating in your tent because the tide rose so high. You’ll go fly fishing when all other plans get rained out in Talkeetna and Mat’s drone will get stuck in a tree. You’ll play trivia with new friends and only be able to figure out a few answers. You’re going to eat at 49^th State Brewery a lot because their set up is perfect with outdoor seating and a view of Denali and their food is good too. You’ll go fishing at 10pm and filet the fish in a rainstorm when it’s dark. You’ll camp on the beach in Homer and then drive back to Anchorage at 2am singing Taylor Swift with Mara.  There will be nights that you just don’t want to go to sleep because life is so much fun and the sun is out all night long.  You’ll take a taxi to a campground in Ketchikan after realizing that the airport is on an island and you have to take a ferry to even get to town.  You’ll kayak with sea lions in Glacier Bay National Park and Jake will get a little freaked out.  Riding 4 wheelers across the beach in Homer with Kiki will put the biggest grin on your face.  You’ll go skiing with Brandan and crew and race each other down the mountain at 8pm.  You’ll hike 3 miles across a frozen lake out to a remote cabin and spend the night with a blazing fire in the stove. Skating on the winter solstice will remain a tradition for the third year in a row.  Kiki will come back with her husband for the Iditarod and you’ll have a blast doing Alaskan things and taking a million pictures. 

You’re going to meet some pretty dang cool people Erin.  People that will inevitably stay with you forever and will change your perspectives on things. A few of those people will include new friends from work and the mountain men.  You’ll still be the youngest one in the office but you’ll make some pretty special connections with people from work. People that will go fishing with you and will volunteer for HOBY.  The mountain men will show you what pure determination is. They’ll open your eyes to more adventures. They’ll make you hungry to do more, be more. They will make you laugh harder than you have in a long time.

You’ll have a day when you go for a run on the beach in Homer at the end of January and you will have tears streaming down your face because you are so grateful for the life you are living every day. God is so good.  It’ll be one of the top highlights of the year because the sun will shine, the wind will blow through your hair, you’ll be alone and you’ll feel all of God’s grace. 

You’ll continue having many weekends where you start with zero plans and end up having a phenomenal time. Angie, Kiki, Allyson, Mara and more will all come up to experience weekends like that. They’ll laugh when you pick them up at the airport and ask if they’re ready for an adventure.  That’s still your favorite word by the way (adventure). You’ll continue enjoying showing off Alaska to all the visitors that come. This place is pretty amazing and you are still living your dream every single day.

HOBY will be a huge part of your life still. You’ve now touched the lives of over 100 Alaskan sophomores and they are bettering the world every single day. You’ll get graduation announcements from ambassadors, write letters of recommendation and celebrate in their successes when they tell you that they received enough scholarship money to go to their dream school. You’ll get more people involved with HOBY and they’ll realize the power of the organization.

Erin you love life more than ever before. You’re challenged every day by a new situation. You’ll read a lot of new books. Your friends will continue showering you with love no matter where they are in the world. You’ll know you are loved. You’re going to get a little bit better at making decisions, but there is plenty of room for improvement. You’re going to continue going to church alone for most of the year but then you’ll meet up with friends to go to some other churches. Your coworkers will tell you that they are vicariously living through you as you travel the world but make it back into the office at 6:30 Monday mornings ready to work.  You’re going to experience the loss of your grandpa and that’ll be tough especially when you receive the call at work. You’ll long for one more whisker kiss but you’ll be full of gratitude that he lived for nearly 93 years and passes down a lasting legacy to fill this great earth. You’ll gain two other angels- Great Uncle Dale and Great Aunt Mary. What incredible examples they’ve been in your life and what a blessing to have them on your journey still.   They taught you to smell every flower and appreciate them. I think that’s partially why you love flowers more than you ever have before. You’ll receive more flower gifts from friends and family and you won’t feel bad at all that they cost money and are going to die because you enjoy them while they’re alive!! You can’t spend your life not doing or buying something because the inevitable death is going to come; just embrace it.

Erin you’re going to work on opening your heart this year. Opening your heart to more people in Alaska. Instead of feeling like this place is still foreign and you’re probably going to leave try and let more people in. Embrace all the craziness everyday. I hope you truly realize how good you have it; I think you will. How blessed you are to have the family you do. The family in the lower 48 and the family in Alaska. You’re going to experience the birth of a brand new baby cousin and you’ll get to hold him in the hospital 10 hours after he was born. He’ll show you more miracles and the goodness of people.  See that goodness even when you see crime all around you. You’re going to impress yourself. You are an incredibly strong and confidant woman; you can do anything! Keep believing in yourself and people around you will do so as well.  Don’t be too afraid of anything because there’s not much to be afraid of. Light up the world!

Jonathan, Erin, Will, Brandan

 

Mat, Erin, Angie-Talkeetna

Kiki and Erin- Homer

Grand Canyon- Logan, Brandan, Mur, Erin

HOBY AK staff

Fly fishing Talkeetna

Adam and Erin

Family Thanksgiving golf - Hilton Head National

"HOME"

Cheers to 2 years in Alaska

"Are you on your home?" said the man sitting next to me on a flight from Salt Lake to Denver. I looked at him and kind of laughed. "I guess so" I responded.  At one time I did call Denver 'home', after I moved there from my hometown of Salt Lake.  I called it home the day after I moved into my Jmac dorm with Rachel freshman year of college.  I considered Denver home for 4 years.  But intermittently during those 4 years I also called Cooperstown, New York home for 3 months.  The wooden bunk beds, bathhouse shower, styrofoam plates were all what would be my home.   And then I called 7 oriente and 7 oriente home in Vina del Mar, Chile for 5 months.  My little room off the kitchen with a Mickey Mouse bedspread was my home.  Mama and Papa treated me like one of their own bringing me along on family trips and celebrating every Sunday with a 4 hour meal.  Then I called pension Nazionale home for 4 months in Florence eating with our pension family for 3 meals a day. 

Nazionale family. Florence, Italy

Chilean host family

Homer, Alaska

Now for the past 2 years I've called Alaska 'home.' The dark winter nights, the summer days filled with fishing, hiking and camping, the canoe outings in October and the 9:30pm golf nights in May. It really is home. I feel comfortable here. More than comfortable I feel challenged. It didn't always feel like home when I first went south on the highway when I lived north. It didn't feel like home when I would google the nearest grocery store. Sometimes I still feel like I'm living in a movie here when I'm camping with strangers who are all talking about the biggest animals they've ever hunted but it's home and these people are part of it and I like it.     

    Words can mean a lot of different things to different people and I'd like to think that I can choose what 'home' means to me.  The dictionary defines home: a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.  I think you can call many places home. I've called my tent home when it's the only shelter I've got for miles. There's that cliche phrase "home is where the heart is" and I've never really bought that. My heart is with so many people and places all over the world that I've never even been to and wouldn't consider home.  Home to me is wherever you want it to be. Whatever couch, tent, bed you want.  There's that idea of 'home field'/'home team' that athletes feel. Growing up the ice rink was like a home and any piece of ice to this today brings a feeling of comfort that I'd get from home.  

Friends from growing up still ask "when are you coming home?" and honestly I spend more days throughout the year in Seattle than I do in the place I grew up, but to them it'll always be home. It currently isn't really my home but yet my parents still live in the house I grew up in so in a way it'll always be home.

Another question I laugh at, "where are you from?" Well I live in Anchorage, but I wasn't born there but the friends that I'm currently with are from all over the country but we know each other because we lived together in Denver. We were all physically born someplace, but each place we've lived/been/experienced has contributed who we currently are.  So answer that question however you want because really we come from a lot of different places.  We're complex people from a combination of backgrounds and experiences.

So "yes" I'm going home. Home to Denver, or home to Salt Lake or home to Alaska; it's all home. It's all given me warmth and peace and love and contributed to who I am! Don't get hung up on the details, it's okay to call multiple places home. 

Christmas in Salt Lake

Sadie Cove, Alaska

        

          Day 1 JMac dorm with Rachel

Barracks in Cooperstown, New York

       

Unit 3 roommates for graduation